Thanksgiving Stock Market: Open or Closed?

TITLE: Black Friday Stock Market: A Pathetic Excuse for "Normalcy"

So, the stock market's gonna be "open" on Black Friday...big freakin' deal. As if shaving a few hours off their holiday is some kind of sacrifice. Let's be real, it's just another way for Wall Street to pretend they're essential workers while the rest of us are elbow-to-elbow fighting over discounted TVs.

The Illusion of Productivity

They're patting themselves on the back for being open 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Black Friday? Give me a break. That's barely enough time to execute a decent insider trading scheme, let alone contribute anything meaningful to the economy. It's like saying you ran a marathon because you jogged to the mailbox.

"Partial holiday," my ass. It's a partial workday disguised as some kind of public service. And who benefits? Not the average Joe, that's for sure. This ain't about serving the little guy. It's about keeping the gears of the money-printing machine turning, even when everyone else is trying to enjoy a damn turkey leg.

Speaking of holidays... Did you know Thanksgiving was officially made the fourth Thursday in November back in '41? So what? Why should I care about FDR's calendar management skills? I'm trying to figure out if I can sneak out of awkward family conversations to check my crypto portfolio, and this is what I get?

Crypto Never Sleeps (and That's the Problem)

At least crypto is honest about its addiction to volatility. "Open 24/7, 365 days a year." It's a digital casino that never closes. Which, offcourse, is just another reason to hate it. The relentless hamster wheel of trading, the constant FOMO...it's exhausting. Can't we just have one day where money doesn't rule everything around us?

And don't even get me started on the bond market closing at 2 p.m. on Black Friday. Who even trades bonds anymore? Is that still a thing? It feels like some relic from a bygone era, like rotary phones and sensible shoes.

The Real Holiday: Consumerism

The stock market's pathetic attempt at normalcy on Black Friday just highlights the real holiday we're all celebrating: consumerism. We've turned a day of gratitude into an orgy of shopping, and Wall Street is more than happy to enable our addiction.

I wonder, what would happen if everyone just decided to not participate one year? What if we all stayed home, turned off our phones, and actually talked to our families? The economy would probably collapse, but maybe, just maybe, we'd rediscover something more important than a discounted toaster oven.

So, What's the Real Story?

It's all a charade. A carefully constructed illusion of productivity designed to keep us hooked on the never-ending cycle of work, spend, and repeat. The stock market being "open" on Black Friday isn't a sign of strength; it's a symptom of our collective sickness.